The presentation is over. I admit, I was quite upset that I wasn't able to answer my examiner's question. The answer was vague and incomplete. And during the presentation itself, there were some mistakes here and there. I need to brush up on my presentation skills. Sigh.

And guess what. Two laser pointers ran out of battery yesterday. One was mine. It died before the presentation. The other belonged to chong jie. It too died DURING my presentation. I almost fainted when i saw the light getting dimmer and dimmer.

But nevertheless, I was very touched to see many of my friends coming to my talk. Especially qing yao and kanghao. Maybe they understood less than half of what I was saying, but nevertheless, they were there to support me. And they were one of the earliest to come into the room. chong jie came down all the way from NIE to attend my talk. alon skipped number theory lecture for my talk. And many others who purposely stayed back after their morning lessons. Others came during their breaks in between lessons.

I borrowed the attendance list from my supervisor. I felt really fortunate when I looked at the list.

Frankly speaking, I wished sauwai was there as well. Not that she could really appreciate my talk 100%, but because, she's one of my closest friend in nus. I felt something missing when she wasn't around.

Now that the presentation is over, I can relax for a moment. Catch up on my tutorials and stuff. And work hard on my thesis again. My lecturer once said, a successful person isn't someone who doesn't make mistakes, he is one who learns from mistakes and never make them again. Haha. My lecturer is so inspiring sometimes. I'll form a fan club for him soon. :)

What a long entry today. All on academic stuff again. Haha. Of course personal stuff are more interesting to readers. But ever since four years ago, I've stopped mentioning that. I just don't want things to backfire again. Because of one comment you made, someone else might blame you, curse you, hate you for many years. And who knows, that someone might be just waiting for your comment, in order to use that as an excuse to leave you. Such a person deserved to be condemned. But you'll not know the pain of condemning someone who was once closest to you.
The condemn isn't out of hatred. It's because I find no reason for me to forgive.

Friends were saying, as a girl, I need not appear strong and calm all the time. I should give people the chance to protect me instead. I can't. If I allow myself to be weak, things and responsibilites which I've been trying to uphold for a long time may stumble down. And who is going to pick them all up again? That's none other than me myself. I don't see potential candidates in offering me the protection. And over the years, I keep sourcing for ways to be stronger, but not looking for protection.

okok, I think I've said enough. Time to go back to my tutorials. :)