Another week since my last post (not taking into account the lyrics and the mood analysis). A long seven days. I hadn't any bit of festive mood during x'mas. Thanks to all those who popped by to shower comfort and encouragement. Now that I'm able to carry on with life, I guess I shan't mention what happened. If you find my smile a bit unusual, I'm sorry. Give me a bit more time.

Bidding started. I'm still amazed at the number of bidders for numerical pde. 3! That's including me! The number seems really pathetic. Even if it's going to increase over the next few rounds, I doubt it'll reach 15. At least approximation theory has got 11 bidders. Isn't this supposed to be a more difficult module? Sigh. And none of the two lecturers have updated the new ivle page. We haven't any idea bout the weightage of tests and assignments and such.

Now that I'm not as comfortable bout spelling out my thoughts on my blog as compared to last time, I doubt the likelihood of having an end of year entry, like I used to do years ago. So I'll just list a number of so-called more significant events:

• obtained my driving license (though I still have big problem parking a vehicle now),
• cut my hair short (it was an accident due to miscommunication with the hairdresser),
• found a good supervisor for my honours year project, so far, it was a good experience working with him,
• made more friends in school, I thought I would be lonely after most of my friends had graduated, but it turned out otherwise. I still miss my old friends though.
• I've turned yet more rationale and practical. I think I can handle ups and downs better than last time.
• ace graph theory and lebesgue integration, hard work do pay off this time round.
• some interpersonal relationships.

I used to have the habit of relating what has recently happened to the past. Nowadays, I've so many things to do that I can't afford the time to think back. At most, I can only spend a couple of minutes during my train rides to remind myself what went wrong in the past and I should avoid making the same mistakes.

For my wish list, I think I'll probably strike off the rest of the stuff next year. At least, that's what I hope. Maybe I should add prince charming (librarian guy) to the list after that. Haha. Remind me to do that. Most probably, I'll forget and add something like: a not-so-tough time during masters year, and/or posting to the sch of my choice after nie.

Off to write out my theorem. Finally there's somemore stuff to add to author's contributions. I need all these to get an A. I think I'm going ktv tomorrow. :) All thanks to the treat on tuesday night, I've this phobia of ribs now. And I still feel bloated.

Mood Analysis Test
Results for Test Taken Sunday, December 25, 2005

You are seeking protection against anything which might seem to be exhausting you or tiring you out. It would appear that you are seeking a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.

You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own'. In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no other man has gone before'. It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.

The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.

There is a suppressed anxiety which may be the result of an unsatisfactory or discordant personal relationship. This has led or is leading to unwarranted excess stress and tension. You are angry, uptight and feeling the physical effects of this anxiety. It is essential that you calm down, your physical well-being could be in jeopardy. It would seem that most of your stress is a result of an unsatisfactory relationship. You have tried, or are considering the possibility of trying to restore the love and trust situation - but so far - perhaps to no avail. So the situation is regarded as depressing and this unhappy state continues to aggravate the situation to a point of complete helplessness.

You feel worn out - you have no energy and your depleted vitality has created intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel inadequate and this subjects you to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which you try to escape by refusing further direct participation. You have become very wary and cautious but you have an inner strength. You have that determination to get your own way and succeed in the end.

I hope the words in bold are right.

歌曲：情非首尔

歌手：李克勤

汉城夜晚南山塔中跟你再相遇
想讲你知生活不写意
汉城在变人也在变分手太轻易
问我到底知不知如今改称首尔

借意问明天的你空闲吗
重游明洞新村可以吗
过去像盲婚哑嫁
现在是热情淡化
还害怕当天回忆会被挖花
重遇你难重新相爱是否已经风光不再
历史多黱精采高潮起跌但现没法被篡改
难道你谁人都不爱没有自信建立未来
让汉江将你我像南北般分开

Gotten my results this morning. I'm satisfied. :)

In a way, I'm glad I took graph theory I this semester. This is so far the first math module which I knew I won't do well even before I went for the first lecture. I lacked the confidence right from the beginning. To overcome the fear of failure, to give myself a second chance to face something which I'm not good at, to keep trying the tutorials and reminding myself not to give up... I eventually end up with a decent grade. It's the module I put in the greatest amount of effort so far. Before this, I have never went to the library to dig for reference books. I'm glad, not only because of the grade I've gotten, but because of the fact that I've the courage to face my fear and eventually overcome it.

I'm never good at comforting people, especially when grades are concerned. I want to comfort, because I care for the person as a friend. But after the many times when people showed no appreciation to this, and thought I could never understand how they feel bout their grades, I've decided to keep my mouth shut nowadays. Not because I no longer have the care and concern for my friends. I just don't want to make matters worse, for my friends and for myself. In the first, they're wrong to say that I don't understand. I had times when I didn't do well for my exams too.

Sometimes, you see the brighter students mixing among themselves. You may think they're arrogant and they outcast people who are less intelligent. In fact, they may be the ones who are being outcasted in the first place.

Thanks to all those who kept me accompanied when I was waiting for my results online. Thanks to all those who wished me luck. Thanks to all those who asked bout my grades. Thanks.

I've declared today as holiday. Shall work on my thesis again tomorrow. Haha. :)

Shall plan what modules to take next sem, tidy up my stuff and so on. Oh man, my idea of holiday is just a break from my thesis. Certainly no time for a year-end entry this year. I forgot when's the last time I put up an end of year entry. Two years ago? I think soon enough, I'll probably type entries in point forms to save time.

This is my 5th attempt to type a post. Previously, I typed half way and went off to edit my thesis. When I wanted to finish up the post, I realized I've lost the blogging-mood, and so I closed the window and concentrated on my thesis instead.

I'm beginning to find it a chore to blog. So one day, I may be gone for good. :)

The only so-called happening event was the ktv session on Wednesday. We sang for five consecutive hours. Luckily I didn't hear a single word of "maths" and "algebra" throughout these five hours. They excel in their studies, and yet, they can sing quite well too. Well well, some people are just well-rounded. At least, their lives aren't just bout maths. In fact, it's fun hanging out with them. They don't make me feel uneasy.

The rest of the days were spent typing my thesis. Completed chapter 4. I bet my thesis is going to hit 80 pages, at least. Shall be showing them to my supervisor on tuesday. Results will be released on wednesday. My supervisor suggested having the appointment on wednesday so that we can check my results together. I'm not going to do that! I think he is beginning to enjoy making fun of me.

I think I'll not be going for the gathering next week. I'm not a beach person. :P

I miss the holidays which I get to go out to shop every other day, take out all my comics from the cupboard and read from the first till the last, play a rpg, sleep without dreams of maths and so on. In short, I miss the holidays which I get to slack from day one till last day.

At last, I watched harry potter and the globlet of fire. I had read the book, hence no trouble in following most parts of the plot, and could just concentrate on the effects and the casts. Effects were good, especially the part when harry fought the dragon. I think they did a fair job in condensing the thick book into a 2.5 hours long movie. They covered the main parts of the story, but here and there, there's a lack of coherence. Hence for someone who haven't read the book, it may be tough for him/her to follow the movie.

I'm reminded of what my supervisor said last time. Giving a presentation is like making a movie, wheras giving lectures is like producing a drama series. How true. More often than not, it's almost impossible to please every audience, because each and everyone has different expectations. For a presentation, one may hope to see the overall picture, wheras another may want to get a detailed explaination of a certain portion. For a movie, some people hope to understand the whole plot, wheras others go for the effects. And for people like me, as long as the male lead is quite good looking, effects are good and the story isn't too difficult to follow, I won't make too much noise bout the movie. Haha.

Looking forward to go ktv next week. Hope it's not going to be cancelled. I'll terrorize everyone with my disgusting voice again. :)

It's holidays. So I'll try not to work on my project everyday.

Shall be going back to meet my supervisor tomorrow. Hand in forms. Buy stationaries. And draw a new doraemon in the honours room. Heard someone erased it. :(

I finished typing chapter 2 of my thesis at last. 26 pages? Something like that. I'm now moving on to type chapter 3.

If any of you has mastered latex, and wishes to earn some extra cash this holidays, go and offer your typing service to the honours students. I'm sure if you charge, say, $250 for the whole thesis, and $10 for each diagram you draw, you'll probably see a queue of students at your doorsteps.

To think that I've actually turned down a senior's offer to type my thesis for free, I must be either very hardworking, very independent, or very stupid. Let's just assume I wanna be independent. And I paid the price of having to burn the past few days typing from 9.30 a.m. to 10.30p.m. I'm going to burn the next few days too. I better not complain bout all the typing, because I was the one who gave up the alternative. I've no idea how I gonna return the favour to my senior if I were to accept the offer.

Now that I'm beginning to get the hang of latex, I wanna thank all the seniors who solved my problems regarding latex. It's a good feeling to have people around offering help and giving suggestions.

Since I seldom hang out in the honours room this holidays, I've left a drawing on the whiteboard to remind others of my presence. Haha.



The "cigarette" wasn't drawn by me. As you can see, I've no drawing talent. And my photography skills suck. Haha. ok, I'm not too ashamed to admit these two facts. But since, nobody actually bothered to erase my drawing in the past one week, it can't be that bad (just let me comfort myself).

Was busy for the past few days, but nonetheless, fulfilling. At least, I'm starting to pick up momentum for my project again. Though there's no way I can complete the game final fantasy 8 this holidays, at least, I got to spend two whole days on it. It's a good stress reliever. On wednesday itself, I managed to walk around bugis, orchard and marina square. Didn't get to try on any clothes or bags or stuff. But still, it's already like heaven to me, since I've not went out for a long time. Furthermore, I got to meet up with quite a few friends. Finally, we could put all those academic issues aside and come out just to gossip. :)

Since I can still afford the time to meet up with friends these few days, I better meet as many of them as possible. When I've recovered the momentum for my project, I'll probably stay home everyday to type and modify proofs.

I was initially pretty upset bout the fact that I've screwed up my own matrix computation exam. The only way out is to mentally prepare myself for the worst outcome, and look forward. If I scored really bad for the module, I'll go and talk to the lecturer, and from there, I'll decide whether to take my so-called last module at the undergraduate level for numerical analysis. For the time being, there's nothing I can do, except work hard for my project. And look forward to taking approximation theory and maybe graduate analysis II next semester. Finally, I'm back with analysis. No more graph theory. I hope to have no more computation too.

I'll wait for results to be released on the 21st.

Shall be watching harry potter and the globet of fire with ms pot tomorrow. Hehe. Meeting up with a group of girls for lunch on sunday. Meeting caizuan next week. These are the plans for now, rest of the time I'll be hanging out with my dearest - my project.

If you're free to meet me this holidays, let me know ok. I'll find time to meet you.

Now that the semester has ended, haha, I think I'll hereby thank all those who showed support and showered encouragement over the past few months, as well as all those who have one way or another brightened up my life by bringing me joy and laughter. It was a tough semester, but you guys made it possible for me to survive.