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ljiawen @blogspot.com ♥
Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I saw one of the uglier side of myself yesterday. But in fact, this is the more human-side of me. I couldn't help feeling upset that part of my honours project homework won't be included in my thesis. I couldn't help feeling upset that when nobody helped in the question I was supposed to present for graph theory tutorial. I couldn't help feeling slightly jealous when someone went to sit with another girl. When all these have happened, I couldn't help feeling unhappy when I couldn't obtain my transcript from the university hall.

It reached a point when I couldn't convince myself to look on the positive side.

All until I walked to the bus stop after school with my friends, one of them said something like "sometimes you just have to believe that you can't be right all the time".

He's right.

And when I woke up this morning, I realized something. Letting go may do more good than harm sometimes. By not including the homework last weekend into my thesis, I'll not have to spend more time filling up the holes, and worry that my examiner will bombard me with questions related to those stuff. The weekend's effort may be wasted, but at least, I don't have to spend more effort in this technical stuff this coming weekend. To have a good thesis in the end, I need to be selective of what to put in. Time and effort in exchange for a good grade at the end of it, it's worth it.

As for help, it comes in various forms. For the intellectually or academically inclined ones, help may come in the form of passing of knowledge. And for the others, help may be in the form of support and enouragement. Still, I wanna thank all those who have helped.

Jealousy, it should be eliminated. It's a waste of my energy. If I can't even take it now, I'll probably be blown up into pieces when that fellow goes somewhere else.

For the transcript, it's nothing serious. I can always go and get it next time.

I've been pushing myself too hard. The harder I push, the higher my hopes that my effort will pay off. I guess, I've remind myself that things don't always work out this way. After the graph theory presentation, I'll take a short break. :) Can't wait for the semester to end. Exams will end in one month's time. :)

The DIVA ♥