After the visit to tj yesterday, I felt this strong urge to compare now and the past.

Teachers will ask, have you visited mr kwan recently? They think, I'll always make the effort to keep in contact with him. In fact, I do. I believe the teacher-student bond we used to have will always remain. No matter whether we meet each other often or not.

When I go back for visit, I'll normally eat the fish soup from the same stall opposite. Not because it tastes fantastic. I'll just feel like eating it.

When I go to the honours library, I'll always occupy the same table, the same chair as the first time I went in there one year ago. One year ago, I had no access, so I needed my senior to open the door for me.

When I visit any stall in the canteen, I'll always order the same combination of food.

It seems that, I avoid making changes to my life. I follow the routine, if possible.

I went to parkway yesterday. It's almost one year since I last went there. With the same person. We saw a doraemon toy at singtel hello shop which looks similar to the ones we saw last year. I think there was this doraemon fair thingy at parkway last time. Just when I thought that things haven't changed much over the years, I recalled what I told one of my teachers earlier on during the visit: some things just can't go back.

Later on during dinner at home, I said something like "some people don't deserve a second chance".

They were meant for two different context. I think sometimes, in order to move on with our life, we just have to give up on certain people or things. It's not whether we want to or not. By letting go, we'll eventually lead a happier life.

When teachers comment that I still look the same, still speak in the same manner, ... ... They're right on the whole. I have not changed much. The most significant changes to me, perhaps, is the fact that I've chosen to give up on two things. And because of this turbulance in my peaceful life, they somehow made me put in more effort in my studies, and more effort in knowing and appreciating the people around me.

Though I'm quite upset that things have turned out to be so much different from my initial expectations, but I guess more importantly, I don't regret on the choices I've made. And the thought of the things I've gained along the way after making those choices brought me some sense of satisfaction in return.

Time to rest. :)