I feel, I have not taken enough math modules. My knowledge is just the tip of an iceberg. Or less than that. Though I had kind of enjoyed the modules outside my major, but sometimes, I wish I can take more math modules. I think I'm not sufficiently trained in the area. I know I can make up for the loss through self study. But I'm the kind of students who needs teachers. I need someone to explain it once to me. Once is enough.
So, if I manage to survive my honours year, that is, I don't get too frustrated over my project, I'll move on to masters. I know I'll probably not survive very well in my masters year, but somehow, I just think that it'll be good to go through this stage in life, even if it's going to be quite a struggle. It's some kind of personal satisfaction. But I'm quite sure I won't go on to phd. I'll probably not go on to pursue it even after I've served my bond. My love in the subject isn't strong enough to take me through another four years.
With the additional year of masters, I'll need another three years before I graduate from NIE. Which means, I'm only half way through. And it seems like some endless path. By the time I stepped out of NIE, I'll be 25. By the time I finished serving my bond, I'll be either 28 or 29.
After the incident last night, when my mum suddenly fell ill, I realized
- my parents are getting old, I need to take on a greater responsibility at home, which includes getting a driving license asap
- if I'm living alone next time, I'll have to employ a maid or something, so that there'll be someone else at home. So that if anything happens to me, somebody will know.
- it isn't my nature to call for help.
I fear rejection. I'll only seek help from someone, unless I'm sure he/she won't reject.
